listening to 90s music in the front seat of my dad’s maroon isuzu trooper. incubus, REM, foo fighters. going to a job site, or my grandparents house. he would explain his problems to me. i wouldn’t talk much. even as a 5 year old i knew i was his best friend. 

and my dad still calls me to talk to me about his problems. 

she left me her acrylics set. an old tacklebox full. she told me that she wished she could be around to see what i would make with it. as we shared communion that she knew may be her last. and i nervously giggled because i didn’t know the words to the lord’s prayer. 

and he called me to cry because he couldn’t talk to anyone at home. 

i sit here blasting smashing pumpkins.

and i know i will only love 90’s music. 

and his old beat up car.